I didn't want to go out last night. It's been really cold here in Sydney - ok not Northern Europe cold but cold enough, plus I've got a work trip to Malaysia coming up and have been flat out planning for that.
But my mates Starboard Cannons were playing a gig in Newtown and they're awesome, really awesome so I decided to go.
I personally need to thank Ash and the band for inviting me on stage to play my song 'Tomorrow in Australia'. This was the first time i've played with a violin and double bass and I think i'm hooked. The show was brilliant. The band are pros and Ash is one of the finest balladeers around.
But this isn't about the performance or the gig.
It's about a BIG question being answered. A question that sometimes keeps me awake at night.
The question was - do I belong on stage? Do I belong 'in' music?
I'm lucky that my boss pays my to travel. I get to spend time abroad and satisfy the urge to get out of my comfort zone. To experience new things. To find inspiration. But I also love writing and playing music. It may never replace my day job but it is a love and passion that I can't be without... But do I belong in a musical world that contains so many amazing, talented people?
The answer is yes.
I have a story to tell. I'm writing new chapters every day. Simply by living life. By doing things like leaving the house on a cold winters night rather than sit on the couch watching some shitty reality tv show.
Last night I sang a song with one of the best bands in Australia.
Last night I met some of the most amazing, beautiful people I have ever come across.
Last night I sat in a small room with a big smile on my face watching a great Australian band play great original Australian music.
Last night I held hands for the first time with a new friend.
Last night another chapter was written.
Today that chapter is becoming lyrics in a new song that i'm already falling in love with.
Sometimes when you least expect it, life answers a question you were too afraid to ask.
And I didn't even want to go out...
It was a little over a year ago when I moved back to the big smoke, the beautiful city of Sydney after a few years away.
I returned to my old stomping grounds of the inner west. But things had changed, people had moved on and I didn't really know anyone. To put it bluntly - I didn't really have any friends..
However, I had a guitar and a dream to play live and tell my story through my songs.
I didn't know where to start, I didn't know anyone, and 'making it' was the furthest thing from my mind.
I started playing a few open mic nights around newtown and would chat to my fellow performers. We'd see each other the next week and then the next and would from a bit of a bond as unknown musicians battling away against the backdrop of greyhound races and loud conversations.. But that was ok, we were in it together.. We were trying to make it.
Slowly, as I played more and more of these nights, the little network of people I knew started to grow. We all had that one thing in common, we were trying to make it.
I'll never forget a gig I played one night when one of fellow performers saw me sitting alone and came and sat next to me, he introduced himself, then spilt a full beer all over me. He was trying to make it too.
As time went on the beer spiller aka Jamie and I would see each other around more often and became friends. The other performers i'd met along the way and I became friends. I became friends with their friends.
Last night I played 5 songs live on the radio and had a chat on air with one of my friends Ossie.
Tonight i'm going to a gig to watch one of my friends launch their brand new EP. I'll have other friends there too. Jamie will spill a beer and make a new friend.
A year ago when I sat by myself in fairly empty pub while watching another performer play to their group of friends I wasnt sure if I was going to make it.
But because I decided to step on stage and start playing music.... I have.